Harvey and I were pretty private about his diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease, he more than I. But there came a time when I felt it would be safer to have a wider circle watching out for him. We weren’t particularly close to our neighbors, as is the case in most of suburbia these days, but there were a few that I trusted and valued enough to share our story.
Because I was working, and Harvey was home alone, I felt more comfortable with having other knowing eyes on the situation.
Once I made them aware, two separate neighbors just volunteered to walk their dogs with Harvey and our collie! So now he was also getting more exercise and more social interaction. Bonus!
One day when Harvey wandered off on foot early in the morning, I hopped in my car, circling our favorite walking routes, but couldn’t find him. I called the police, and the dispatcher instructed me to stay at home until an officer arrived. I was still frantic with anxiety and hated that I wasn’t allowed to go out searching for him.
I called one of the neighbors that regularly walked with Harvey, Jenny, and asked if she could look for him while I waited at home for the police. She found him in a location I had not previously searched, but he wouldn’t get in the car with her.
Until…
Jenny got out of her car, along with her secret weapon, her puppy Lily. Harvey and Lily had become fast friends from all the neighborhood walks, so it became an easy thing to get them both into her car and drive him back home.
Jenny and Lily came to the rescue again when Harvey walked out of the house on a paid caregiver and just kept walking. The caregiver called me at work, in a panic, and I called on these two again.
It’s hard to reveal your circumstances to people you don’t know very well, but you need eyes and ears watching your loved one so that he or she can be as safe as possible. I would never had predicted that my neighbors would play such vital roles in our lives.
And who could have predicted that Lily, a black lab puppy, would be one of those crucial neighbors?
4 Responses
Extra eyes are always a help! We were at the point of needing to confront Mom about her not driving anymore when a church friend noticed Mom wandering the Wal Mart parking lot, unable to find her car. I was so thankful she knew Mom’s situation and could drive her around until she found it and follow her home!
Indeed! Even when it’s hard to tell people you don’t very well about your loved one’s situation, it pays dividends!
Hi Renee, I have a friend (really more of a close acquaintance) at church whose husband also has early onset Alzheimer’s. I am forwarding her your blogs and will order your book to give to her when it comes out. My heart goes out to you both having lived (or living) through these experiences.
Btw, I got to chat with your mom and dad back in May at my Dad’s 90th birthday celebration. It was great to see them!
Thank you, Lee! My heart aches for your friend. It is no easy path!