So far, I’ve discussed the caregiving support that I received through venues of which I was already aware. Family, friends, church, neighbors, paid caregivers, and health care professionals were all instrumental components of my team.
There were other resources in the community that also played a role in Harvey’s and my journey with dementia.
I found out about Alzheimer’s support groups fairly early on in Harvey’s illness, but I didn’t think I really needed it at first. I did enter some online chat rooms, mainly reading comments. In hind sight, I should have gone to a live group earlier, just to glean the wisdom of other caregivers for a longer period of time.
I started going about two years into the journey. At first, I was able to leave Harvey at home while I went to the meetings, but I felt terribly guilty about what I was doing, and would tell him that I simply had a meeting that I needed to attend.
Other group members said they felt similar guilt, but some found beautiful ways to tell their loved ones about the meeting, saying, “I’m going to a meeting to learn more about Alzheimer’s disease so that I can understand how to best help you through this.”
The meetings were very helpful to me for several reasons. Firstly, I was able to share my experiences with people who understood what I was going through, venting freely.
Because there were caregivers there with loved ones at all stages of the disease, I began to get a glimpse into what our future might hold and how to best prepare for those possible futures.
I garnered an amazing array of ideas on how I might approach a difficult situation. “Have you tried this…?” Because there was bound to be someone in the group who had experienced a similar situation, I would come away from meetings armed with new ways to try to deal with any number of issues.
We had new people join the group at almost every meeting. This gave us the opportunity to educate and support them, as well as each other.
Besides the support group, I took advantage of some community events in my city as well. I attended a few lectures offered by our local Alzheimer’s Foundation and other organizations, and utilized my local library.
There are many other community resources that I did not have the opportunity to use that you might find helpful. Meals on Wheels is an organization that provides one hot meal a day to people unable to leave their homes. Senior citizen centers provide a plethora of activities and social interactions. Some places of worship and YMCAs offer programming for seniors.
Your computer is your friend when it comes to locating community resources. Let the googling begin!
3 Responses
My 80 yo mother has Alzheimer’s and my 82 yo father is her main caregiver. He does not want to put her into a memory care unit, as he wants to be with her, but is also under a lot of stress helping her with ADL. My brother
and I are able to help, but are asking for suggestions for companion care who may be able to help with possibly some light laundry or a meal.
Christi,
Finding someone to help in the home with chores is a great way to start having help. Often, the loved one with dementia or the caregiver isn’t receptive to an outside caregiver, but willing to have help with light housekeeping or meal prep. It’s a good entry to having someone in your home.
I also discovered that most memory care facilities allow a spouse to live with their loved one in the unit. That might be a possibility for your parents.
It’s wonderful that you and your brother can help. Maybe together you can research companies that provide in-home care. There are usually several in an area to choose from. Most require a 4 hour minimum block of time, and although Medicare doesn’t cover this, long term care insurance does, and it’s tax deductible. You might want to read my previous post about outside caregivers.
Hope this helps!
Renée
My 80 yo mother has Alzheimer’s and I was wondering if there is a live support group in the Hoover area for my father?