Alzheimer’s Caregiving: Lawyers, Accountants, and Financial Advisors

So far we’ve talked about folks who can help you care for your loved one with dementia. You’ll likely need help with items unrelated to direct caregiving as well.

Harvey and I had wills, trusts, living wills, and powers of attorneys already, but with his declining health, we met with our estate lawyer again to revise all of these while he could still understand their contents.

One of the main reasons the medical community gives for getting a diagnosis as soon as possible is so that the person afflicted can participate as much as possible in these tasks. “Getting your house in order” while still cognitively competent is the goal.

Harvey had always been in charge of our financial investments. It was something that he liked doing, and I had some idea of where our savings and retirement funds were located, but I wasn’t particularly involved in the decision making.

Once I knew that Harvey had cognitive issues, I made two decisions about our finances. Firstly, I had him show me all the accounts and write down the passwords. Then, we would periodically review them together until I was comfortable with it and he was no longer able to manage that task.

Next, because I was unsure about making investment decisions and because I thought that our financial future was unpredictable, I interviewed several financial advisors and settled on one.

There wasn’t a lot to do at first, but together, the financial advisor and I made plans for various scenarios. I wasn’t sure if I would retire to care for Harvey at home, or continue to work and pay for caregiving. He told me both scenarios were possible and that it would be my personal decision and thankfully not a financial one.

This financial advisor also acted as a sounding board for me about big expenses: college tuitions and a wedding. I also consulted him for other decisions: how best to get cash to the college aged daughters, if I should get a new car, how much to spend on vacations. I had lost my partner in these decision-making items, and the financial advisor stepped in.

Once I decided that I was not able to care for Harvey at home and would need to place him in a  memory care unit, the advising and planning ramped up as the cost for care increased.

When Harvey’s care exceeded our income, I worried that I would have to liquidate my assets to pay for it. I hired an elder lawyer to look at the big picture to see if there was a way to protect my house, my medical office, and my retirement funds going forward. It was quite complicated, and I still don’t fully understand everything she talked about. Harvey passed away before any of that became a reality.

Our accountant continued to file our taxes, and advise me about best practices in reimbursing the paid caregivers. When Harvey had to move to memory care, more complicated tax decisions had to be made. I’ve even been audited because our tax returns varied so greatly from year to year.

Having these professionals on board relieved some of the decision making burdens that I didn’t fully understand. It was a relief to be able to rely on their expertise and not on my own abilities.