Just as you should take care of your physical and emotional well-being, so too should you care for your spiritual life. Even if you don’t consider yourself a spiritual person, staying in touch with something that is greater than yourself helps to ground and center you.
For me, the most obvious place to fill this part of my life was in my church. As I’ve written before, because of our family’s deep roots at our church, we all felt very connected there. It’s where the vast majority of our support was. Not only our closest friends, but the entire congregation, loved Harvey (and us). The main focus of our church is stated in our mission statement, “An open place for ALL to worship, grow, and serve.” I cannot imagine a more welcoming church.
Journaling became a spiritual practice. I realize now that by pouring out my grief and anger, I was practicing Lamentation, a theme in many of the Psalms and other parts of the Hebrew texts. God can handle our grief and anger; we should never feel guilty about these emotions.
You may want to consider a gratitude journal. This can have many forms, and I encourage you to approach gratitude in a way that is authentic to your experience. For example, maybe you can choose to write one attribute or memory of your loved one, each day, for which you are thankful. A practice such as this may be particularly helpful if your caregiving is difficult.
Perhaps prayer is a way that brings you closer to God. There are many kinds of prayers. The writer Anne Lamott says there are just three: Help, Thanks, and Wow. You may want to consider a breath prayer, a short prayer that you time with your breaths.
Reading a short devotional together could be another way that you and your loved one can connect with each other and God.
Meditation might be helpful in creating a time apart from caregiving. There are many forms of meditation, and I invite you to explore its variations. You may prefer a focused form of meditation. An example of this would be to put yourself in the mind of the loved one for whom you are caring. Let your imagination and heart guide you as you begin to understand what life might be like for him or her. Or perhaps a meditation may focus on directing feelings of love and warmth to your loved one.
Classic eastern meditation is a practice that invites you to clear your mind of all distractions, noticing when a thought bubbles up, then gently acknowledging it, and setting it aside. It is usually accompanied by slow, deliberate breathing. There are many benefits to this type of meditation, including lowering your heart rate and blood pressure, as well as your level of anxiety.
Spending time in nature might be a way to give yourself a sense of spiritual well being. A hike in the woods, sitting beside a stream, or taking in a beautiful vista never fails to bring me a sense of well being. I feel a part of the larger world, and gratitude feels my soul.
Do not neglect your spiritual health.
3 Responses
Thanks for speaking with the St Luke’s Episcopal support group last week. Today’s blog is particularly appropriate for me My husband and I spent our last weekend at our lakehouse with my evangelical siblings and their spouses. Sunday did not go well. I was reprimanded for being abrupt or harsh with Larry. Even my Faith was questioned. Writing this is helpful, and I’ll handle myself better.
Susanne, it was a pleasure to meet you and the rest of the group at St Luke’s. I’m so glad our discussion and this blog was helpful. You might have noticed that I picked up a suggestion or two from the group! Everything changes with dementia, even your spiritual practices. And extended families? What a mind field it can be!
Ha! Now that was a Freudian slip! Mine field, not mind field.