About six years into his diagnosis of younger onset Alzheimer’s disease, Harvey developed a friendship with the man in the mirror. I witnessed several interactions with this new best friend. They had friendly conversations, lasting up to five minutes. There weren’t any intelligible words, as it was mostly gibberish, except maybe, “Yes, well!” or “I know, I know!” They also communicated with smiles, gesticulations, and chuckles.
If Harvey saw me watching this conversation, he would break it off and sometimes act a little embarrassed, as if he knew something wasn’t quite right. Other times, if I asked, “Who are you talking to Harv?,” he would respond, “This guy,” then just drop it.
Fortunately, Harvey found the man in the mirror to be friendly, maybe because Harvey approached him in his usual jovial manner.
But it’s not always a friend that is encountered in the mirrors of patients with dementia.
Because people with Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias cannot form new memories, they tend to lose a sense of the present time. They may tell you that the year is some decades earlier. If they believe that the present time is the distant past, then they have a mental image of themselves at that time.
Try imagining this scenario: you look into a mirror and see a stranger. That’s exactly what the person with Alzheimer’s disease experiences. Add to that the inability to tell the difference between a tangible object and a reflection of an object, and you have the makings of conflict.
Now imagine walking by a mirror in your home and being startled by seeing another person. Who is this stranger in your home? It’s now easy to understand why a person with dementia might react with fear or anger toward their reflection.
I have read and heard stories of loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease becoming very angry and lashing out at the stranger in the mirror verbally, and even physically.
The mirror in a bathroom may cause a loved one to refuse to toilet or undress to bathe. Who wants to shower when a stranger is always present?
Reflections in a window at night might have the same effect as the dark glass mirrors well.
Obviously, the solution to this problem is to remove or cover troubling mirrors and to close the blinds on the windows at night. You can cover large mirrors in creative ways–with contact paper on mirrored closet doors, for example, or with fabric to create the illusion of a curtain. Simply throwing a towel over smaller mirrors is an easy step.
Happily, mirrors weren’t a problem for Harvey, and for that I am glad. I just wish he had introduced me to his new friend. He seemed like a nice fellow!
4 Responses
I never thought about mirrors having such an effect on individuals with Alzheimer’s. It does, however, make a great deal of sense. This is fascinating to me. Thank you, Renee’ Harmon, for sharing yours and Harvey’s personal experiences.
You’re welcome, Carissa. Thank you for taking the time to read and to comment!
This is an excellent point to bring up and can be very upsetting to some. I’m glad Harvey found a friend. At one point in my mother’s Altzheimers journey, my sister-in-law was helping her get ready for bed and told her to take her dress off to get ready for bed. She noticed her image in the mirror and said, “I’m not getting undressed until that old lady leaves”. It’s so sad how out of touch with reality they become.
Great story, Jo! Illustrates my article exactly.