Flying Solo

Video Version Here

I’m always caught off guard when someone asks me about my dating life since Harvey passed away three years ago. No, I’m not dating, I’ve never been asked out, and that’s perfectly fine by me. It kind of terrifies me to think about it, to be honest. I usually respond, “If it happens, it happens, but I’m not out there looking.”

I’ve actually really come to enjoy the single life. I can decide what I want to do, on my own timeframe, without having to consider anyone else. I can even change my mind in the middle of a planned outing, and no one gets upset.

About twenty years ago, when I was working, I had two afternoons off per week to do what I wanted before I had to pick up our daughters from school. I ran errands, shopped, or met a friend for lunch. I also perfected the art of solo coffee shop visits.

One day, I realized there might be time to see a movie in that three hour timeframe. It then became a game of sorts to check the listings and find a movie that I wanted to see that was playing in that limited time. I noticed that there were not many people in movie theaters who were alone, especially in the afternoons, but for me, it was the perfect solo outing. I could see any movie I wanted, with no compromises on the choice. And I could cry or laugh out loud without being embarrassed. I still enjoy seeing a movie alone. The only downside is not being able to discuss it afterwards.

I’d like to see more live theater, dance, or music performances, and that will come as COVID lessens its hold on society.

If you’ve been reading my blog posts in the past few months, you know that I really enjoy hiking. And I actually prefer to hike solo. I’ve wondered about joining a hiking club, but that would entail hiking with strangers. Um, no thank you. I guess it’s something about being alone in the woods that I love. It’s easier for me to be alert to my surroundings when I’m alone. Being with others makes me feel compelled to fill the space with conversation. However, if I know that I’ll have company going in, and it’s with a close friend or a family member, then I do enjoy that too. I admit that it can be fun to share the sights and sounds of nature with others; now I just do that with social media when I hike alone.

I have enjoyed several solo road trips that involve driving, hiking, or the beach. Again, it’s the flexibility to do what I want on my own timeframe that makes it relaxing and adventurous. Finding restaurants and breweries, and eating out every night in new a location is fun. It did take a bit of time to become comfortable eating out alone, but it’s easy now. I go out by myself here in town quite frequently now.

I haven’t yet flown to a distant destination by myself for a solo vacation. I will though, when the coronavirus declines. I have generated a bucket list of places I’d like to visit. Some of those places I’d prefer to share with a friend or with family, but there are several that I would feel comfortable visiting alone. There are group tours that I could join as a solo traveler to more exotic locations.

I’ve settled quite nicely into this solo life, thank you very much. I have my gem of a house with its postage stamp sized yard, a new lake house, and a fun car. I have an optimistic outlook for the future, and I don’t often look back with nostalgia for what has passed. Right now, in this moment, I am quite content to spend time with my grandchild, my daughters and their guys, my parents, my sisters, and my friends. When I am not alone!