The Dance of a Lifetime

 

“There are shortcuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them.” – Vicki Baum

I have a picture of Harvey and me dancing together from before his time with Alzheimer’s disease. It is a rare photograph indeed, because Harvey did not like to dance. The photo clearly shows the joy of living in the moment of pure happiness together. If one of my daughters had not captured the moment, no record of Harvey dancing would exist.

But I have loved to dance all my life.

Like many little girls, my first career choice was to be a ballerina. The costumes and the beautiful movement captivated me. I took ballet lessons during elementary school, but gave it up when I realized there were other types of dance that could be more liberating and fun, not requiring the discipline and structure of ballet. American Bandstand and Soul Train entranced me, and my next career goal was to be a go-go dancer. Again, it was partly for the costumes—mini-skirts and white patent leather go-go boots.

I danced on my middle school and high school dance teams, and because there wasn’t such a team at my small liberal arts college, I became a cheerleader. After that, dance really wasn’t a regular part of my life.

Until last year.

A talented and generous woman at my church began offering weekly tap dancing lessons. I was intrigued. I had never taken tap before, so, at the age of sixty-two, I am dancing again. And I love it!

Harvey, however, did not like to dance. He would appease me occasionally, as my photograph from a vacation proves, but those moments were extremely rare, and they were ONLY to appease me. If I pushed too hard, or if I asked to repeat a dancing activity, he would refuse. We even took a ballroom dancing class once, though I’m not sure why he agreed to it. The class was difficult because our skill sets were so different. Because he was supposed to lead, and I was to follow, it did not go well.

Once Harvey was living in the moderately severe stages of Alzheimer’s disease though, we danced more often. He forgot that he didn’t like to dance. If a favorite song played on the radio, I could take him by the hand, and we moved to the music. Slow songs or fast, as long as it was familiar, and I was by his side, we could be fully present in the moment together, letting the music carry us in dance.

We all have a heartbeat, therefore we all have a rhythm within. When we move to our rhythms, we dance. There are rhythms to a day, a week, a year. The dance of our lives plays out in each of these time frames.

Recognize the rhythms, and bring dance into your life.

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