As I continued to think about ways stones are used as metaphor, I came across many quotes that urge us to turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones. One of my favorites is from Cullen Hightower.
“A stepping-stone can be a stumbling block if we can’t see it until after we have tripped over it.”
This quote initially resonated with me because it brought forth such a visual image. Oh, how many times I have tripped over a rock or a root on one of my hikes! Sometimes it’s because I didn’t pick up my foot high enough, but at other times, especially if the rock is hidden beneath leaves or pine straw, I trip over it. The obscured rock will literally cause me to stumble along the trail until I have regained my balance. I have even fallen due to turning an ankle on a rock that I didn’t see because I was looking out at the trail ahead instead of at the path at my feet.
When I practiced medicine, certain patients were sometimes stumbling blocks to my schedule. When someone insisted on spending a lot of time describing their concerns or the story that led up to their current situation, I would scream internally, “Just get to the point already.” Eventually I learned to accept their need to tell their story in the way they needed, to a concerned listener. Such patients became stepping stones to greater patience and better skill at directing the flow of the encounter.
I can create my own stumbling blocks in my mind, too, “making a mountain out of a mole hill.” When I view a difficult situation as an obstacle, I might falter, stop in my tracks, make halting attempts, and sometimes even turn back. I rarely view the blocks as stepping stones until the difficulty has passed and I can reflect on what lessons I have learned.
When caring for my husband, Harvey, while he was living with younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease, I frequently stumbled with situations that I didn’t see coming. I thought that I was prepared, as a medical professional, to handle all the situations that might arise. I knew he had a medical condition, and that changes to his behavior were occurring because of the condition. But whenever I misstepped, it was usually because I didn’t see it coming. I reacted to the situation as if it were an obstacle and not a stepping stone to a broader understanding of what was happening to him.
The best example I can think of is when Harvey wandered from home while I was away. There was no warning that this might be something he would do, but of course, there is always the first time a behavior occurs. His wandering became one of the stepping stones that led me to hire in-home care and to enroll him in respite care.
My stumbling blocks these days are doubt, indecision, insecurity, and silence about the next paths I should take in my life. I’ve been grappling with “what’s next” for a long time now, and when I trip over these thoughts, I get nowhere. But when I view the intrusive thoughts as stepping stones, the way becomes clearer.
Doubt becomes affirmation when I can see my past successes as stepping stones. Indecision becomes an opportunity to see in many directions. Insecurity becomes self-confidence as I look back over all that I have overcome. Silence from the universe becomes a lesson in patience.
I pray that I will be able to see that future stumbling blocks in my path just might be disguised stepping stones.